THE DIVERSITY OF MY THOUGHTS

Ariq and Baraka: Our Dynamic Duo

In Cerebral Palsy, Family, Health on December 5, 2008 at 9:03 pm

Ariq and Baraka

Nothing in this world, in our opinion, is more blissful than watching our two sons growing up loving one another. Ariq, our first son was born on October 8th 2002 while his brother was born on February 9th, 2008. Why took us that long for a second son? We felt that we hadn’t done enough for Ariq. There was still a glimpse of feeling that we were to blame for what happened to him. Much too many “Ifs” to mention: If only we had asked for second opinion, if only we had been curious, if only we had enriched ourselves with lots of information, if only we hadn’t just swallowed everything. Various kinds of thoughts and regrets have been haunting us. In short, we hadn’t done enough for him as a child with special needs.

This; however, didn’t last long. We moved on, yes we did. We stopped crying over what had happened. We started searching, asking around, consulting experts on how this should best be handled. We began seeking for methods on how to minimize his brain damage and how to maximize his abilities so as to ‘normalize’ his condition, at least working our best so that his condition didn’t worsen.

Alhamdulillah, we seem to harvest the fruits of our rigorous work. Ariq has shown promising progress at school. He would soon be joining education sessions only at school. No more physical therapies as the result of his progress. The news seems to give us new courage and spirit to move on.

The funny thing about the existence of Baraka began some time when Ariq was still 4,5 years old. Every single day, he would say that he wanted a brother as quoted “Ai mau adik kecil” this continued for some time until one day he stopped asking and few days later, my wife began to feel nauseated. Yes, she was pregnant. Previously, during the contraception consultation with her gynecologist, she was advised to have another baby. Based on the above reason, we refused but Allah SWT has decided something else, giving us another chance to be parents.

Baraka grows as a quite cranky kinda son. He just cannot escape the shadow of his mom. No matter how bad he enjoys playing with his toys, the disappearance of his mom could make him howl out of the blue. At first, this has caused some sort of jealousy to Ariq. I could imagine how did it feel to be the only one for so long then suddenly we were missing for a week or so then returned with another baby. His nanny said that one night, when we were still at the hospital, Ariq woke up one night and cried in a way that she hadn’t heard before. God knows if he somehow had a hunch of becoming number two.

This continued for a few months. I remember my wife called me at the office, telling me that Ariq had been crying in the bathroom without ever wanted to go out. He just crawled in and stayed in the bathtub crying for quite long. I guess, this was his way of protesting his long-lost mom. He just could not express his feeling properly so tears happened to be the only way.

As all of these passed on, Ariq began ‘poking’ his brother’s head or simply yanking his hands or legs. We did our best to tell him that Baraka will be his greatest brother and friend. We advised him to love his younger brother in any way possible. Then one day, Ariq just stopped all the ‘jealousy’ acts. We were surprised to see him caressing his brother’s head or hand, while saying “sayang” whenever Baraka was crying.

Now, the two sons, one at the age of 6 years and another 10 months are a lovely couple. Both of them love one another, we are grateful that Raka loves his brother so much and the other way around. Everytime Raka wakes up in the morning, the first thing he does will be crawling towards his brother and giving him a good morning kiss on his forehead. Ariq also seems happy with this. Hopefully, we assume, that Ariq knows now that Raka is not a competitor. Raka is his flesh and blood also. Raka is his spirit that will accompany and also motivate him to move on with his life.

However, Baraka or “Cawit”, as my wife always calls him, is some kind of a trouble-maker sometimes. He knows that his brother loves him so he begins to act funny. He always begins a competition with his older brother. Whatever Ariq holds in his hands, let’s say toys or other playing stuff, Baraka always tries to get them. Being a loving brother, Ariq will give him what he holds. These will soon be put down and he begins to ask for more. These toys and stuff will be ignored if lying about around him but nothing interests him more than whatever Ariq holds in his hand lol.

This competition of obtaining “fair” share of Mom’s love sometimes makes us laugh. No matter how joyful Baraka is playing with his stuff, the sight of us holding Ariq or simply his mom playing with Ariq will trigger his jealousy. He would then stop playing and begin messing around in his own way. Normally, he would crawl nearer and mingle or crankily cries with all of his might. Oh dear, what a life. I’m glad that the birth of this second son has brought us more quality time just to be together. Hopefully Baraka will be a cure to his brother’s lackness.

Here are some pictures that will reveal their closeness as brothers:

Recently taken:

Bismillah, hopefully you walk soon beloved son. Don’t give up and pray for us so that we keep doing our best to care for both of you.

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  1. Hang on in there buddy, everything happens for a reason. Maybe you and your wife are the “Chosen” one to receive such test. I believe you will be wise enough to accept it without any grudges and disappointment. Do your best and I believe everything will be just fine.

  2. You two should have felt happy for having two cute sons

  3. Thank you, we love em so much and thankful as well

  4. […] It’s been about a week that Ariq, our son refuses to walk outside. Usually, walking outside is something fun for him because it’s definitely a change of situation. He used to feel very anxious when it comes to his daily walk, he would walk around the block visiting his favorite spots, a lake and also one of the houses nearby with roosters caged around it . Whenever we walk past the house either by car or on a wheelchair, Ariq would always beg to come closer to the cages. This routine spectacle can be accessed here. […]

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